Lemons vs Abs

My friend and I went to lunch the other day to cheer me up from the horrible morning. As we exited the restaurant, I noticed a f.i.n.e looking man jogging towards us in short shorts and no shirt. Trying to be chill, I finished my soda. Otherwise, I would have looked like a fish with my mouth open and staring. He passed us by. His backside looked just as good as his abs.

After he put on his t shirt * sigh* he disappeared. he had gone into the church. Ever optimistic, my friend says ” he’s gone inside to pray for our wicked souls” I said “God knew I couldn’t use lemons, a nice hot bod to oggle works for me.”

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RULES FOR MY BOYS

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.
3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.
4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially in the end zone.
6. Request the late check-out.
7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
10. Don’t fill up on bread.
11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.
12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.
16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
19. Never turn down a breath mint.
20. In a game of HORSE, sometimes a simple free throw will get ’em.
21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.
24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
25. Eat lunch with the new kid.
26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
27. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
28. See it on the big screen.
29. Give credit. Take the blame.
30. Write down your dreams.

Struggling for balance 

My weight has fluctuated since my teens. Like most people I would get into a routine,  be strict with my food  choices and lose weight. Many times it was not the most healthy of ways – starving  myself or taking diet pills that offer quick results. I guess you can call me a yo-yo dieter and as you get older it doesn’t get easier. A few years back (and a few pounds lighter) I was using the gym facilities at the hotel I was staying at. A young gentleman  joined me. He was quite  fit and it was hard for me to not stare. He had the look of at pro footballer. I continued with my workout,  huffing and puffing along on the treadmill. Just when I was about to give up, he called out to me to keep going and not give up. It was so unexpected. I  pushed through my pain and finished up my run. Whenever I feel like giving up I remember that moment. An act of kindness from a stranger. 

On the flip side

As my 7 year old uses  every hairbrush, comb and pick in the house to style my hair. I am reminded of the time I was brushing my babysitters hair and I got the brush so tangled, she had to cut it out. Her long tresses suddenly went from past her butt to just touching her shoulder. I pray to the hair gods that I learned my lesson & i don’t  lose my hair tonight.  Incidentally, it wasnt until I burned her sisters eyebrows  off that either one stopped babysitting me.